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Time: Tuesday 18th of September 2012 09:56:59 PM

Dalmir says:

One more basic thought about chagning attitudes and beliefs. What Mark Hansen writes about the impossible task of relinquishing negative attitudes is absolutely true. If there was a time when you experienced any strong emotion (e.g., fear, anger, sadness, joy) and tried to control it, chances are that you failed. If you believe there is a boogeyman beneath the bed or in the closet, nothing will persuade you it is not true. Even your own inspection. Inserting thoughts or images that are more positive is an important step, but often it seems that does not work, as the old negative stuff pops right back in. There is an old axiom, Never reason with an emotion! Another one is, Don't think of pink elephants! The solution is how one chooses to direct one's attention. If we can give up the need to defeat or overcome the negative attitude or belief, which may be a false belief that that is the only way to permanently remove it from our life, then we can find ourselves in a much better place. The thing is, the more we train ourselves to direct the focus of our attention, that very process weakens connections to the old negative stuff. So, instead of telling yourself to stop thinking about the boogeyman, employ as many of your senses as possible on calming, relaxing, uplifting stuff (smelling vanilla, dancing around to your favorite music, a relaxation cd, laughing, getting down on all fours and baying like a cow, admiring a sunset, listening to birds nesting, etc.). We may not be able to stop thinking about something, and find ourself thinking about it more the harder we try, but we certainly can focus our attention on something that, in brain research, engages the parasympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system and helps us calm down. This really works. It has no choice because there are governed by real laws being discovered by neuroscientists.